With SM now behind us (well, some of us), it's time to start looking towards running the much loved Uldaman instance.  This can be a very tough instance so I think we should put some requirments on who goes and who stays in Ironforge cooking babies.  Please see the list below to see if you qualify to be in the presence of Gods -- like me.

How to get on the list for Molten Core Uldaman (rev1)

1. Commitment to the Guild
We are not looking for guild shoppers looking for a free set of greens and possibly a blue item.  People who have been in this guild for some time (since the beginning), and have shown their loyalty (kissed a lot of ass), commitment (kissed even more ass) and support for their guild mates (yes, you have to kiss their asses too) will be given preference over any newer player in the guild.  If you are a new player (you're fucked), show your commitment to the group, post on the forums, become part of our community, help players, be a nice person.  That's the quickest way to the top here.  *smooch*

2. Commitment to the Instance
If you are interested in instancing with the Silence group Victorious Secret, you must be committed to coming every week, and be online at least 30 minutes prior to the instance start time.  People interested in gaining a spot in the group are required to check in with Kundera two weeks prior to the instance for any first time invite.  If you are on-time and available during that period of time, you will have shown that you are able to commit to the instance times, and have worked your schedule to allow you to instance. (you are so my bitches) If you complain about wipes, or take off after a couple of unsuccessful attempts at an encounter, it will be looked at as extremely unfavorable (pussy), and you will risk being slammed on the boards.  We need committed people for the entire instance to be successful.  It also means bringing potions, bandages, and other buffs that not only are essential for your success, but also bringing consumables for your teammates (because some of us are really fucking lazy and cheap) to make the instance more successful as a whole.

3. Putting in your Bleed Time
Players who have committed to the instance group and have been playing consistently and well for an extended period of time; putting the good of the instance before their own personal gain (or life) will be extended special preference over any other newer instancer. We call it “Bleed Time.”  Bleeding means you are a big pussy who menstruates often and very strongly.  Many of the first group of instancers struggled for weeks through the first encounters in MC Uldaman.  We are currently doing the same with ZF and ST.  We're looking for players that are committed to success no matter the cost (job, spouse, kids).  If you want free blue items without the “Bleed Time” we don't want you.  A new player making comments like "Wow, this place is so easy!" or leaving the raid group early after a string of unsuccessful attempts is a cardinal sin in this instance group, and don't expect to be invited back (freeloading, green thumbed pieces of shit).

4. 6/8 Of Your Classes Tier1 PvE Set (I have no idea what this means but you need it)
This is to show that you have had a reasonable amount of experience in raiding instances.  As a general rule we try not to place too much emphasis on a player's gear.  However, gathering BoP set pieces is a sure good way to show your experience in instances and your commitment to the PvE game (and lack of life).  Players looking for a slightly different character equipment build will be considered on a case-by-case basis.  If you are a fresh lvl40 with green gear, please spend the time to gather a good set of gear (or two) before attempting the higher end content (don't call us, we'll call you).

5. PvE Specced and Equipped Character
Players requesting access to MC Uldaman will be required to create an account on www.rpgoutfitters.com and upload there CharacterProfile.lua to that site.  Officers will confirm your equipment and Talent Build prior to acceptance into the roster. 

   Priests:  Disc/Holy specced only.
   Druids: Resto specced to Innervate.
   Paladins: Holy specced
   Warriors: Protection Specced to Shield Bash
   Warlocks: ...we don't really want you.
   Hunters: At least 31 points in either Marksmanship or Survival.
   Rogues: Expected to have at least one epic weapon, a decent amount of epic armor, and not over-aggro. Spec dosen't matter too much.
   Mages: Ice mages preferred.

6. Exceptions
Exceptions to these rules will be made for needed classes.  If the instance group needs an extra priest to be successful and the only one available is a newer player with a PvP spec build (n00b), that player could be allowed preference over a committed, fully PvE specced player.  It sucks, but there are encounters that require a certain set of skills inside the instance group.  No rogue can replace a resto specced druid, and no priest can replace a hunter's dps no matter how the players are equipped or specced.  The party leader has a responsibility to build a successful instance group. There will be times where fairness to players will conflict with the commitment to the raid (fuck all you bitches).  It's simply an unfortunate fact of playing MMO games (retards).  We're not out to get anyone *snicker*, nor are we trying to be elitists *snort*, or hoard all the epics (hehehe.. ahem).  We're trying to build a successful, fast group of instancers that work very well together.  Elune Bless.

Please refer all questions and comments to Ben Afflack.

Jesus

Ok to simplify all this, any blue items recieved in ULD will be subject to my inspection. If I verify that I cannot use the blue Item I will permit it to be passed along. Again, this is all about me so this should come as no surprise.

Thank you and god speed.

You just made me cry.  And that's not a good thing.

I will never get any decent gear unless you bitches loot it and sell it to me. Waah.

Your 8 mega bonus UBER already.

I took a loan from the bank on some of that though Ben... I'll have to pay that back. Eventually. :)

ULDA anyone wanna do ULDA?

ULDA? Anyone?

Hello? ULDA

ULDA?












ULDA? Hello.. NE1 Help?















ULDA?























hlp ULDA
















ULDA?
















































































































































FUck u.










Torrin has left the guild.

Heheheheh

LOL

that made me laugh. thanks.

HA!! Awesome. I mean. No. Torrin. Come back.

Bumpity bump bump...

...I have no words.

OH FYI, this posting was copied almost verbatim (with Killian's embellishments) from another certain guild/alliance's raiding policies for MC...

The guild will not be mentioned because... well, I'm bitter.

I figured.

Holy crap that's hilarious!! As I started reading it, I looked at the date of original post (December something) and my first thought was "Did Killian used to be a total asshat, and has since been mind-controlled by aliens?" It took me about 2 or 3 paragraphs to realize where it originated from...
Again, holy crap... -50 DKP for not bringing your poopsock!

p.s. I *really* like the part about Warlocks...

I think the most horrifying thing about most raiding guilds is that when you read the requirements, you always think, "Ha ha, that's hilarious satire!"

Then you realize they are serious.

I honestly cannot figure out why in the sweet holy name of Jaina Proudmoore's sainted cleavage anyone would take on what is essentially a second job DURING THEIR FREE TIME.
I do not understand it and I never will. I HAVE a job. I am paid for my work there. I am not about to set up A SECOND JOB for which I AM PAYING.

Especially since the payoff is an item in a game. A GAME. No one will care how uber you are at a game twenty years later.

PROOF: NAME A NINTENDO GAME COUNSELOR. ANY NINTENDO GAME COUNSELOR.

I'd like to note that it took me an hour just to fix the spelling and grammar errors in the original document.

PROOF: NAME A NINTENDO GAME COUNSELOR. ANY NINTENDO GAME COUNSELOR.


...Well, technically you are, Ms. I Can Beat Zelda In Three Hours Completely Piss Ass Drunk And Also Give People Directions Through The Forest Over The Phone.

....i can't... stop... laughing... ack.... the pain....

Just found this while searching for something else and it made me laugh so I figured I would bump it.

Thanks Heck that made my day. Not that it would take much at this point, but that was great.

Heck get back to work!

I try not to work. You should know that by now.

I try not to work. You should know that by now.


Well I sure as hell am not going to start! Damn now we got to find someone to cover both of us. I say we but Oriole to work!

I actually had no memory of this thread. :( I'm so old.

And apparently doing the exact same thing as I was 3 years ago.