This is for Fox...

I want a new duck
One that won't try to bite
One that won't chew a hole in my socks
One that won't quack all night

I want a new duck
One with big webbed feet
One that knows how to wash my car
And keep his room real neat

One that won't raid the ice box
One that'll stay in shape
One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape
Or I'll tie him up with duck tape

I want a new duck
A mallard I think
One that won't make a mess of my house
Or build a nest in the bathroom sink

I want a new duck
One that won't steal my beer
One that won't stick his bill in my mail
One that knows the duck stops here

One that won't drive me crazy waddling all around
One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown
And show me how to get down
How to get down baby

Get it?

I want a new duck
Not a swan or a goose
Just a drake I can dress real cute
Think I'm gonna name him Bruce

I want a new duck
Not a quail or an owl
One that won't molt to much
One that won't smell too fowl

One that won't beg for breadcrumbs
Hangin' around all day
He'd better mind his manners
Better do just what I say
Or he's gonna be duck patte, duck patte, yah, yah

Melanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building
I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap
I knew she had to be the girl for me
And to think I probably never would have found her
If I hadn't bought that telescope

Oh, Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

I just can't understand it
Why won't you return my phone calls
Are you still mad I gave a Mohawk to your cat
If you'd just say the word
I'm certain that our love would last forever and ever
Or are you too dumb to realize that

Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me
How can you ignore me when you know that I can't live without you
I have to go through your garbage just to learn more about you

Melanie, ooh
Oh sweet Me-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

You weren't impressed when I tattooed your name across my forehead
You wouldn't listen when I promised to be true
I couldn't stand it so I jumped out from the sixteenth story window
Right above you
Now I may be dead but I still love you

Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

For Fox and Lux.

How come you're always such a fussy young man?
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran!
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan?
So eat it, just eat it!

Don't wanna argue, I don't wanna debate.
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate!
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate,
So eat it!

Don't you tell me you're full
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!
Have some more chicken, have some more pie,
It doesn't matter if it's broiled or fried.
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it!
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it!

Your table manners are some cryin' shame,
You're playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game.
Now, if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame.
So eat it, just eat it!

You better listen, better do what you're told.
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole.
You better chow down or it's gonna get cold.
So eat it!~

I don't care if you're full,
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Open up your mouth and feed it!
Have some more yogurt, have some more spam,
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned.
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it.

Have a banana, have a whole bunch.
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch.
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!

Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
If it's gettin' cold, reheat it!
Have a big dinner, have a light snack,
If you don't like it you can't send it back.
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!

Have some more chicken, have some more pie,
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried!
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!

Have a banana, have a whole bunch,
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch.
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!

I met this girl around quarter to ten,
We made it once, she said make me again.
She wrapped her love around me all night long!
In the morning we were still going strong!

Now let me tell ya,
It sure feels good!
First time I saw that girl
I knew it would!
Now let me tell ya,
It sure felt right!

No pulling teeth,
She didn’t want to fight,
She said

Shake me,
All night!
She said,
Shake me,
Shake it, don’t break it baby!
Shake me,
All night!
She said,
All night long!

Mama, whoa..

I know you really want to move me
You know I like to see you try
I've said it before and I'll say it again
You're not trapped if you don't let me in

Looks like you're the hard kind
I ain't got that kind of time

Oh I send shivers

Smooth up in ya
Smooth up in ya
(In ya)

You say I'm never gonna break ya
But we won't know until we try
So now's the time to make up your mind
I'll never ever be the one woman kind

Don't let your lovin' go to waste
All it takes is just one date

Oh I send shivers

Smooth up in ya

Sher breaking out Bullet Boys!

I saw the open for Ozzy at the TLA in Philly. Either the TLA or the Troc. LMAO

This song goes out to my pimp...

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

Onetta there in the corner stand
and wonders where she is and
it's strange to her
some people seem to have everything

Nine a.m. on the hour hand
and she's waiting for the bell
and she's looking real pretty
just wait for her clientele

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

I should get the King Diamond shit out...

/butthead laugh

But this'll do... get yer chains out boys!!


One life I'm gonna live it up
I'm takin' flight said I'll never get enough.
Stand tall I'm young and kinda proud
I'm on top as long as the music's loud.
If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die.
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
If you think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another think comin'.

That's right here's where the talkin' ends
Well listen this night there'll be some action spent.
Drive hard I'm callin' all the shots
I got an ace card comin' down on the rocks.

If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain
Listen I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again.
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
If you think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another think comin'.
In this world we're livin' in we have our share of sorrow
Answer now is don't give in aim for a new tomorrow.

Oh so hot no time to take a rest yeah
Act tough ain't room for second best.
Real strong got me some security
Hey I'm a big smash I'm goin' for infinity yeah.

Ok, fine. You want to break out Judas Priest? I'm gonna hit you with some nastiness right now!

If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man!
You win some, lose some, all the same to me.
The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say.
I don't share your greed, the only card I need is
The Ace Of Spades!

Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil,
Going with the flow, it's all the same to me.
Seven or Eleven, snake-eyes watching you,
Double up or quit, double stake or split.
The Ace Of Spades!

You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools,
But that's the way I like it baby!
I don't wanna live for ever!
And don't forget the joker!

Pushing up the ante, I know you wanna see me,
Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again!
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die!
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be...
The Ace Of Spades

ROCK ON! /headbang Ol' Warthead himself. Lemmy FTW!!

and now for something completely different:

I guess I shoulda known
By the way u parked your car sideways
That it wouldn't last

See you're the kinda person
That believes in makin' out once
Love 'em and leave 'em fast

I guess I must be dumb
'Cuz U had a pocket full of horses
Trojan and some of them used

But it was Saturday night
I guess that makes it all right
And U say what have I got 2 lose?
And honey I say

Little red corvette
Baby you're much 2 fast
Little red corvette
U need a love that's gonna last

I guess I shoulda closed my eyes
When U drove me 2 the place
Where your horses run free

'Cuz I felt a little ill
When I saw all the pictures
Of the jockeys that were there before me

Believe it or not
I started to worry
I wondered if I had enough class

/primps and models in her spandex pants, lace and stiletto boots!

I've been caught stealing;
once when I was 5...
I enjoy stealing.
It's just as simple as that.
Well, it's just a simple fact.
When I want something,
I don't want to pay for it.

I walk right through the door.
Walk right through the door.
Hey all right! If I get by, it's mine.
Mine all mine!

My girl, she's one too.
She'll go and get her a shirt.
Stick it under her skirt.
She grabbed a razor for me.
And she did it just like that.
When she wants something,
She don't want to pay for it.

She walk right through the door.
Walk right through the door.
Hey all right! If I get by, it's mine.
Mine all mine!

We sat around the pile.
We sat and laughed.
We sat and laughed and
Waved it into the air!
And we did it just like that.
When we want something,
We don't want to pay for it.

We walk right through the door.
Walk right through the door.
Hey, all right! If I get by, it's mine,
Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine...

I used to have this song on a 45... yes, a record.


I was talking with a friend of mine, said a woman had hurt his pride
Told him that she loved him so and turned around and let him go
Then he said, "You better watch your step,
Or your gonna get hurt yourself
Someone's gonna tell you lies, cut you down to size"

Don't do me like that
Don't do me like that
What if I love you baby?
Don't do me like that

Don't do me like that
Don't do me like that
Someday I might need you baby
Don't do me like that

Listen honey, can you see? Baby, you would bury me
If you were in the public eye givin' someone else a try
And you know you better watch your step
Or you're gonna get hurt yourself
Someone's gonna tell you lies, cut you down to size


'Cause somewhere deep down inside
Someone is saying, "Love doesn't last that long"
I got this feelin' inside night and day
And now I can't take it no more

Listen honey, can you see? Baby, you would bury me
If you were in the public eye givin' someone else a try
And you know you better watch your step
Or you're gonna get hurt yourself
Someone's gonna tell you lies, cut you down to size

The RIAA is gonna come shut us down for reciting lyrics on a website!

I had THIS on vinyl (is that really how you spell that?)


She'll only come out at night
The lean and hungry type
Nothing is new, I've seen her here before
Watching and waiting
She's sitting with you but her eyes are on the door
So many have paid to see
What you think you're getting for free
The woman is wild, a she-cat tamed by the purr of a Jaguar
Money's the matter
If you're in it for love you ain't gonna get too far

Oh here she comes
Watch out boy she'll chew you up
Oh here she comes
She's a maneater
Oh here she comes
Watch out boy she'll chew you up
Oh here she comes
She's a maneater

I wouldn't if I were you
I know what she can do
She's deadly man, and she could really rip your world apart
Mind over matter
The beauty is there but a beast is in the heart

Oh here she comes
Watch out boy she'll chew you up
Oh here she comes
She's a maneater

Hall and Oates! Good job, Fox! and yeah, it's vinyl.

Living on a lighted stage
Approaches the unreal
For those who think and feel
In touch with some reality
Beyond the gilded cage.

Cast in this unlikely role,
Ill-equipped to act,
With insufficient tact,
One must put up barriers
To keep oneself intact.

Living in the Limelight,
The universal dream
For those who wish to seem.
Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation,
Get on with the fascination,
The real relation,
The underlying theme.

Living in a fisheye lens,
Caught in the camera eye.
I have no heart to lie,
I can't pretend a stranger
Is a long-awaited friend.

All the world's indeed a stage,
And we are merely players,
Performers and portrayers,
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage.

Omg. SWOOON! I had the biggest crush on this dude.

Jessie is a friend,
Yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
It ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a girl
And I want to make her mine
And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it!
And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Why can't I find a woman like that?

I'll play along with this charade
That doesn't seem to be a reason to change
You know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love but the point is probably moot
'Cause she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it!
And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Why can't I find a woman like that?

Like Jessie's girl
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Why can't I find a woman...
Why can't I find a woman like that?

And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time
Wonderin' what she don't see in me
I've been funny; I've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?
Tell me why can't I find a woman like that?

I never was a big rush fan but I appreciate the Canadiana :)


And without further adieu.... this is the song that got a lot of people in trouble with their parents when I was in elementary school.



Sittin' at home with my dick on hard
So I got the black book for a freak to call
Picked up the telephone, then dialed the 7 digits
Said, "Yo, this Marquis, baby! Are you down with it?"
I arrived at her house, knocked on the door
Not having no idea of what the night had in store
I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning
I have an appetite for sex, 'cause me so horny

Ahh! Me so horny!
Me love you long time!

Girls always ask me why I fuck so much
I say "What's wrong, baby doll, with a quick nut?"
'Cause you're the one, and you shouldn't be mad
I won't tell your mama if you don't tell your dad
I know he'll be disgusted when he sees your pussy busted
Won't your mama be so mad if she knew I got that ass?
I'm a freak in heat, a dog without warning
My appetite is sex, 'cause me so horny

Ahh! Me so horny!
Me love you long time!

You can say I'm desperate, even call me perverted
But you say I'm a dog when I leave you fucked and deserted
I'll play with your heart just like it's a game
I'll be blowing your mind while you're blowing my brains
I'm just like that man they call Georgie Puddin' Pie
I fuck all the girls and I make 'em cry
I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning
I have an appetite for sex, 'cause me so horny.

Ahh! Me so horny!
Me love you long time!

It's true, you were a virgin until you met me
I was the first to make you hot and wetty-wetty
You tell your parents that we're goin' out
Never to the movies, just straight to my house
You said it yourself, you like it like I do
Put your lips on my dick, and suck my asshole too
I'm a freak in heat, a dog without warning
My appetite is sex, 'cause me so horny

elementary school?!?! oy, I'm old.

Here's the song that made my personal life a living hell, as my name is Shenna... yes indeedy do.

Alright, dig it


Cold coolin at a bar, and I'm lookin for some action
But like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction
The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin def, yo, what's up with L-o-c?
The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar
Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm the star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, "Why you so fly?" he said, "Funky Cold Medina"

Funky Cold Medina


This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap
So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina

You know what I'm sayin?
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door
I got Spuds McKenzie
Alex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal


I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, "I'd like a drink," I said, "Ehm - ok, I'll go get it"
Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies
Ya know?

Break it down


Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on _The Love Connection_
The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin soon what I'll be gettin
Instead she started talkin 'bout plans for our weddin
I said, "Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein ya"
That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina

Ya know what I'm sayin
That Medina's a monster, y'all

Funky Cold Medina

I know nothing about my name being in songs. :p (Hey at least your song was kinda cool for 15 minutes!)

RIIIIIGHT. Your Amanda songs are just as bad as hearing 'Sheena was a man' a hundred fucking times a day.

Fuck you Tone Loc!!!

ODE TO SHEENA

My baby takes the morning train,
He works from nine till 5 and then,
He takes another home again,
To find me waiting for him.

Oh Valneron, such sweet words you say...

Shot through the heart, and you're to blame..
Dah'lin you give luuuuuv a bad name (bad name)

An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison, you can't break free

You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name

You paint your smile on your lips
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boy's dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye

You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Shot through the heart
and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name

Oh my gosh. Sheena WAS a man! I forgot that part...sorry! ;)

More sweet words!

I got pictures of naked ladies,
Lying on their beds,
I whiff that smell and sweet convulsion,
Starts swelling inside my head.
I'm making artificial lovers for free,
I start to howl I'm in heat,
I moan and growl and the hunt drives me crazy.

I fuck like a beast!

I come round, round I come feel your love,
Tie you down, down I come steal your love.
I come round, round I come feel your love,
Tie you down, down I come steal your love.

I'm on the prowl and I watch you closely,
I lie waiting for you,
I'm the wolf with the sheeps' skin clothing.
I lick my chops and your tasting good,
I do whatever I want to, to you.
I'll nail your ass to the sheets,
A pelvic thrust and the sweat starts to sting you,

I fuck like a beast!

I come round, round I come feel your love,
Tie you down, down I come steal your love.
I come round, round I come feel your love,
Tie you down, down I come steal your love.

Come ride savage seduction!
Ride! Ride! Ride!

I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go
Walkin' with a dead man over my shoulder

Waiting for an invitation to arrive
Goin' to a party where no one's still alive

Chorus:
I was struck by lighting
Walkin' down the street
I was hit by something last night in my sleep
It's a dead man's party
Who could ask for more
Everybody's comin', leave your body at the door
Leave your body and soul at the door . . .
(Don't run away it's only me)

All dressed up with nowhere to go
Walkin' with a dead man
Waitin' for an invitation to arrive
With a dead man . . . Dead Man . . .

Got my best suit and my tie
Shiny silver dollar on either eye
I hear the chauffeur comin' to the door
Says there's room for maybe just one more . . .

CHORUS

Don't run away it's only me
Don't be afraid of what you can't see
Don't run away it's only me . . .



And since we're talkin' about Dead men, just for kicks (make sure your volume's up):
http://www.freebeerandhotwings.com/Videos/classic_auto.wmv