So, you start a new toon and decide to enjoy the experience of leveling up all over again. You forget all the tedious little details that got you killed the last time you enjoyed this experience. But, hey, it all works out in the end.

Then, minding your own business (well not really) picking mushrooms the inhabitants of the cave decide they've had enough of your excursion into their realm and descend from their various places of hiding.

The next thing you know you are filing a Police report:

"Officer, I want to report a gang rape. They came out of no where and well, lets just say I didn't enjoy the experience. My backside will never be the same again. The worst thing is that all I got for my troubles was a stupid mushroom."

The officer looks at you. Motions to his buddy and mouths a single word, "Newb." They both walk away laughing.

Somehow you only feel worse.

No more mushrooms for me. Well, not until I get at least one or two more levels. Then I'll come back and let them cave dwellers know who is boss.

Warlock on a rampage.

LOL!

Let me know if you ever need help with a quest. I'm usually more than happy to plow through some lowbies for a guildmate. :D

Please don't misunderstand this thread. I simply want to document my rise to stardom (or at least level 60). Mostly my misadventures with getting ganked, owned, punted, stomped on, bitten by fleas or any other irritant. :doh:

I look forward to the experience in leveling (mostly) outside of the few (I can dream can't I?) wrong turns getting my toon torn into little tiny pieces by some critter I couldn't outrun. Oh yes, I run like the dickens when needed crying like a little girl (screaming like a little girl?) while my Demon (poor sap) tries to keep them off my back long enough to get the heck out of harms way.

I'll ask for help if I am stuck or need assistance with an Instance that I actually want to run (Deadmines anyone?). Until then we'll just see how far I can get without pleading (:rolleyes:) for someone to bail me out.

Besides, its just a game right? Just don't ask my wife that question, she says I live in WoW...

...Oh yes, I run like the dickens when needed crying like a little girl (screaming like a little girl?)...

Man, you're gonna love the Little Red Riding Hood Karazhan Opera event...

Oh don't worry, I didn't misunderstand your thread at all. I was just offering aid because I'm a nice and generous person. . . also because I have 2 low level alts and misery loves company!

Man, you're gonna love the Little Red Riding Hood Karazhan Opera event...

Is this in-game or on-line?

In-game inside of Karazhan

But hell, you can go do it out in public if you like!

Oh as I walk into the valley of Ogre let me fear no evil but let me fear the big mallet against the side of the head. Let me sacrifice my poor (virgin?) demon to shroud my small body in shield so that I may run to safety...let me do so many times.

Only next time, please don't let me run into that big lvl 22 spider hiding behind the rock as I stop to look behind me. Let not my shield drop just at the moment my head is turned to allow the poisoned fangs sink into my now unprotected chest. Let not the poison run through my veins as my potion timer is not reset. Let not my last few glimpses of this realm be the spider pissing on my head (Ok, I made that last part up).

Officer, I want to report an Ogre attack. Yes, I was raiding "their" home but doesn't the fact that they are evil count for anything? Um, why are you bringing out the handcuffs? What do you mean they filed a report just before I got here???

I want to take the time to thank Coolstorms for running me through Shadowfang Keep (4 time) to get me to lvl 20. Along with the quick leveling I picked up a lot of blues and greens along the way. :drool:

There is really no way I could have done it without you Coolstorms!!!

Arrrg! Not fair. Foul. Nagdabbit played past Bathae today while I was stuck at work. How am I supposed to catch him now?

Me needs you now Coolstorms.

Do you need some cheese with that wine? I think I have some in my backpack. Is that red or white wine? I need to know so I can give you the proper cheese.

Down into the mines was a small group sent; all for the quests and the goodies we went.

Into the dark did we venture to go; I turned left, not right and I stubbed my toe.

Minions and miners by the dozens did die; this time I turned right and got poked in the eye.

At the end all the mobs did our leader pull; until I decided to act like a fool.

Rain fire I did and I did so with glee; until all the monsters turned and targeted me.

My demon gave life to shield me from pain; it didn’t last long enough to keep me not slain.

I lay on the deck on the ship in the dim; the rest of the group got experience from him.

Revived when the mobs were dead at their feet; they laughed and laughed at my stupid defeat.

“No matter,” says I for there’s treasure to plunder; what will I get I really did wonder.

Well I apologize for the bad poetry. I was having one of those kind of days.

To add to the fun I moved over my other 2 Alliance characters to Etrigg.

Drachgriefer (Paladin) 20
Jagergriefer (Hunter) 21

I'll most likely change their professions as I figure out what to do with them. But at least all of my Alliance characters are now on the same server. One less thing to worry about.

If everything works out I'll ask to have them added to the guild.

Level 25 and moving up quickly. I want to thank Aessell (sp) for helping out today with the Stockades. She/He ran 2 of us through multiple times. Between the exp, the loot and the multiple quests completed I went from 23 to 25.

Not a bad day at all. No deaths making it a perfect day. ;)

And the soreness will fade over time.

Ah yes, I forgot to mention the Molestation and Lap Dances provided by Stranger (in his various persona's).

I mentioned something about acquiring molestation protection undies and it seemed like the entire on-line guild chimed in.

When the conversation ended I think I was to get Cherry flavored (edible) underwear. Something about if I was going to have to suffer through it anyway I might as well enjoy it? I guess something was lost in translation.

All good (clean?) fun...

Ah yes, I forgot to mention the Molestation and Lap Dances provided by Stranger (in his various persona's).

I mentioned something about acquiring molestation protection undies and it seemed like the entire on-line guild chimed in.

When the conversation ended I think I was to get Cherry flavored (edible) underwear. Something about if I was going to have to suffer through it anyway I might as well enjoy it? I guess something was lost in translation.

All good (clean?) fun...

Oh, yes, welcome to VS!:D

Yeah, really, you're not a real guild member if you haven't suffered some sort of degrading personal experience at the hands of your guildmates. It's part of that whole bondage experience.




Bonding. Bonding experience.

I'm just trying to figure out how I'm supposed to "enjoy" wearing edible undies...

Well, today I hit a major milestone. Level 30. Finished up 2 quests in BFD (2 of the easy ones) and turned in the one from Ironforge and popped 30.

Since the Warlock trainer was standing right next the the guy who gave me the quest I was able to immediately train. Ding, instant Warlock mount! :cool:

So I enjoyed a few minutes riding around IF with my new hellfire steed before RL broke the songs of joy in my heart and I went out to go shopping with the wife. :eh:

Great times just little enjoyment. And then came work.

Nearly to 49 and got invited to join Andist and Abia for an instance run.

Now I've been running solo for a while and never really grouped that much at all. Being a first time 'lock and in a group in an instance in which I can actually help with the kills I pulled out Mr. Voidwalker and proceeded to do as much as possible. Which isn't sitting well with Andist.

Anyway, Andist has some fun telling me to put my pets away--point taken. And then right near the end I Howl of Terror someone who is deciding I'm his next meal. Hmmm, bad idea?

Andist nearly craps his pants when my Howl'd target runs right up to Mr. Boss (forget name) and back without bringing Mr. Boss along to wipe us.

I'm feeling lucky, Andist and Abia want to string me up and use me for target practice and I really couldn't blame them...but it was funny.

So Andist talks to Killian and when I finally get a chance to talk to them tonight Killian starts in on how Andist was just a tiny bit upset at me.

We did get wiped once, wasn't my fault. Andist pulled too many mobs.

I'm still alive after Andist wanted to throttle me tonight in RL. I was beginning to wonder if I needed to run for it. I'm just not used to being in groups. Too much solo time. Hopefully when I get up into the 60s that will change.

So, I've been told which pet to use in groups...IMP. And to leave my others at home. Sniff.

In Andist's defense, it was more of a gentle ribbing than a potential throttling. And it was in very good humor (in case anyone is wondering). We like to pick on Nag.

Also, I didn't say only imps in groups. I just mentioned that they seem to see the most action in larger groups. Each pet is good for different situations. You'll get 'em all figured out. :) Until then, if in doubt, ask the group what they'd like you to pull out. 9 times out of 10 it'll be your penis.

The penis is my hammer.

Your use of a warlock pet depends very much on your spec. My warlock (demonology spec) runs with her Felguard, even in instances, even in raids (unless there's not another warlock and my imp is needed for stamina for the tank). As for the VW, it's generally not of much use in instances -except- as an off-tank. If you don't need an off-tank, the imp is much better. Do not send a VW in on the main tank's target (especially if you have the VW set on auto-taunt -- I have let warlocks die for that). A VW does very little damage and if you accidentally hit the taunt button, the tank will (rightfully) have a minor shitfit.

As for fear, generally, it's best not to use in instances. If you have a mob on you, it's one of three reasons:
1) Your tank sucks and can't hold aggro
2) You suck and won't let your tank hold aggro
3) Your group sucks and the placement of the group resulted in adds

If you have a mob on you for reasons 1 or 2, move -to- the tank and let said tank try and regain aggro. Stop whatever damage you're doing until the tank has solid aggro. For the love of god, do -not- run -away- from the tank. Nothing is more annoying than trying to chase down a mob that is trying to chase a group member back towards the beginning of the instance. If it's for 3, and the tank is already busy, try and burn it down. If you've been stacking stamina (you -are- a warlock, stack stamina like crazy -- well, until Wrath), you likely have the second highest HP in the group. You have a really good chance of killing it before it can kill you.

Mostly though, don't stress. The move from solo play to group play is quite a shock to the system. Just make it clear to folks that's what you're doing and they'll adjust and try and help. We've all been there. You'll get it figured out.

Oh, and try and learn to use your Succubus for crowd-control.