Thought I'd start a thread like the "cool stuff" thread but something a little more work-friendly to keep us entertained during the day. I'll start us off with something my cousin sent me recently:

“Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.”

- Rick Polito, Marin Independent Journal's TV listing for "The Wizard of Oz"

"Am I gay? Am I straight? And then I realized...I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?!" - Margaret Cho

“Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.”

- Rick Polito, Marin Independent Journal's TV listing for "The Wizard of Oz"

I'm not sure it's fair to say she actually "met" her....

She did, of course, loot her corpse!

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before

Mae West

"I`m ready, man, check it out! I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do NOT want to fuck with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don`t worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx! Whoa! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missles, base plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks...">Hudson from Aliens :)

I FOUND ISH!

"I`m ready, man, check it out! I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do NOT want to fuck with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don`t worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx! Whoa! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missles, base plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks...">Hudson from Aliens :)

I just watched this last night, complete with that scene.

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants?
"Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."
-- Jerry Seinfeld

And my favorite --

You can lead a horticulture.
But, you can't make her think.
-- Dorothy Parker

There are no significant bugs in our released software that any significant number of users want fixed.

• Focus Magazine No. 43 (23 October 1995)

Bill Gates

"You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER."

> Frank Zappa

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields

I honestly think this is my favorite mis-quote...

"There are crazies out there preying on children," says Neil Sindicich

Crazies I tell you!! CRAZIES, all of them!