Happy Talk Like a Pirate day!

"What kind o' socks does a pirate wear? - Arrrrgyle!"

Pirate walks into a bar.

Bartender notices the pirate has a steering wheel sticking out of the fly of his pants.

Bartender asks, "Whats with the steering wheel?"

Pirate: "Arrrr, it be drivin' me nuts!"






I've probably told that joke 1,000 times but it never gets old to me.

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"