On Friday, when I was completely sober and not babbling about being the greatest beta tester in the world, I caught him!

I was calmly discussing how Zenimax wanted me and only me to span all of my monitors into one giant screen!

I think the voices in my head told me that...or maybe I read it on my screen(s).

(In-between all of the anti-screenshot email addresses.)

I distinctly heard a "click"...which had to have been A ROBOTIC RECORDING DEVICE.

And then Jaannaa logged in which took place concurrently with "WAR OF THE WORLDS" coming on TV.

MY MOUSE MOVED BY ITSELF!

I screamed and ran out of the house...and I saw... A GIANT NDA SATELLITE POINTED AT MY HOUSE.

I also noted that my front lawn has some sort of grass disease.

I climbed the electric pole and threw squirrels at the power line until it blew up the transformer. BUT...the power went out everywhere else...EXCEPT...MY...HOUSE!

So then I had to pursue the nuclear option...I put on my spacesuit and went up to the giant server that no one else but me knows about.

I disconnected all of the hardware...But the NSA had secretly changed all the wiring.

I came home, took off my spacesuit, calmly picked up my assault rifle that every 'Merican owns, and shot the shit out of my computer.

Finally, the black helicopters arrived and took me to their base in Kamchatka.

Ironically, they believed everything I said, and put me in charge of an array of nuclear missles.

So...it all worked out in the end.

Don't ever change, Pils. Don't ever change.

War of the Worlds huh? Maybe I should get theme music that plays when I log on.... I'll have to email Blizz about that :)

War of the Worlds huh? Maybe I should get theme music that plays when I log on.... I'll have to email Blizz about that :)

Yeah man...that really freaked me out...Frenial started yelling YOU WILL COMPLY WITH THE NDA! CONFESS NOW!

So I ran out of the house.