This was posted by a troll hunter named Rokujo from Lightning's Blade on the WOW general forum. I got a kick out of it.



Anyone ever notice how the Night Elves, when faced with important, world-changing decisions, INEVITABLY make the wrong ones? If it weren't for Night Elves and their screwups, I'd be inclined to think Azeroth in general would be a much nicer place.

Mistake 1: Destroying the Scepter of the Shifting Sands

Bronze Dragonflight: "Now that we've finally sealed away the nemesis of all Azeroth, here's a scepter should you need to break the seal and fight them again."
Fandral: "WAAAHH!"
*breaks scepter*
Bronze Dragonflight: "You dumb f*cker."

Mistake 2: Destroying the Well of Eternity

Queen Azshara: "Blahaharrrgh, I'm addicted to magic!"
Night Elves: "Well I guess that's cool."
Queen Azshara: "Blahahaharrrgh, I'm summoning demons!"
Night Elves: "Ok, that's not so cool."
*Bigass War!*
Malfurion: "I've got an idea! Let's blow up the world!"
Tyrande: "Come on, that's your solution to everything."
Malfurion: "No it's not! By the way, hold this."
Tyrande: "Hey, this looks like a-"
KABLOOIE
Tyrande: "...dammit, Malfurion."

Mistake 3: Recreating the Well of Eternity, Then Leaving It There and Falling Asleep

Illidan: "Hey guys, now that we just got done blowing THAT up, I just made a new one!"
Night Elves: "You stupid f*cker."
Malfurion: "Illidan, you're under arrest for playing the devil rock music."
Illidan: "How wude!"
*SLAMMER'D!*
Malfurion: "Anyway, let's just plant a tree over top of this sucker and call it a day."
Tyrande: "Uh, what do you want us women to do, Mal honey?"
Malfurion: "You all stay awake and keep the stove warm in case we're hungry when we wake up. Oh, and don't go running off having fun with your friends or anything, I want you in the kitchen where you belong."
Tyrande: "But-"
Malfurion: "zzzzzzzzzzzz"
Tyrande: "Dammit."

Mistake 4: Staying Asleep

Orcs: "FOR THE HORDE! And also the Burning Legion!"
Night Elves: "zzzzzzzzz"
Undead: "For the lich king! Also, again, the Burning Legion!"
Night Elves: "zzzzzzSNRKzzzzz"

Mistake 5: Picking a Fight with the Orcs

Night Elves: "WTF?! Orcs cutting down our trees? Gettem!"
Cenarius: "I'LL take the case!"
*PWNT*
Night Elves: "WTF!!"
Grom Hellscream: kek

Mistake 6: Releasing Illidan

Tyrande: "We need help, gotta wake the druids up. Oh hey, Illidan! I'm sure 10,000 years of confinement has only rehabilitated him."
Illidan: "GROWLowlorarrrr"
Tyrande: "...although I could be wrong."
Illidan: "OOGHRARGHghhh!" *runs off*

Mistake 7: Blowing up the World, AGAIN

Medivh: "Quit fighting you nubs! Archimonde is coming!"
Night Elves: "Oh crap you're right. Too late now!"
Archimonde: "Bwahahahaha!"
Malfurion: "Hey, I've got an idea!"
Everyone: *groans*
KABLOOIE

Mistake 8: Stopping Illidan from killing the Lich King

Malfurion: "OMG! Illidan's doing something crazy to Northrend! Gotta stop him!"
Maiev: "I'm kookoo for catching Illidan!" *trips Tyrande*
Tyrande: "Aiiee!" *falls into river*
Malfurion and Illidan: "I'LL take the case!"
*rescue*
Illidan: "So you see, I was trying to DESTROY THE MOST POWERFUL EVIL BEING IN AZEROTH."
Malfurion: "Oh, uh..... my bad."

Mistake 9: Building a new World Tree

Fandral: "Man, I miss immortality. Let's make a new world tree!"
Malfurion: "I don't think that's a good-"
Fandral: "STFU nub."
*WORLD TREE'D!*
Fandral: "See? This place is great."
Malfurion: "I dunno, it smells kinda bad... and I think I just stepped in some ooze."
Fandral: "Yeah? Well if you don't like it, why don't you go get lost in the Emerald Dream for a few years?!"
Malfurion: "You know what?! I think I will!" *gets lost in the Emerald Dream*
Night Elves: *facepalm*
Rest of Alliance: "Remind me why we put up with these guys?"
Bronze Dragonflight: "Because you're all a bunch of dumb f*ckers."

Grom Hellscream: kek

This made me laugh so hard I had to use the Email From My Mom excuse.

Yea, that was my favorite part also.

This is the best thing I've read in ages.

WORLD TREE'D!

IT IS SO VERY TRUE.
Although I don't think the rest of the night elves should be collectively held responsible for how much of a fucking dick Fandral Staghelm is personally.

I also still maintain that Maiev totally wanted Illidan's hot hot body. I will never laugh as hard as I did when I watched Linnaris play through Warcraft III and Maiev is all, "WE MUST FIND HIM," and Laris said, "... your first act of penance, Illidan Stormrage, is to REMOVE MY BRA!"

Illidan: Malfurionnnnn seriously, help, bitch is CRAZY.
Malfurion: Well you should have thought of that before you dipped your wick in the well of eternity, bitch.
Illidan: *SAD FACE*

I also still maintain that Maiev totally wanted Illidan's hot hot body. I will never laugh as hard as I did when I watched Linnaris play through Warcraft III and Maiev is all, "WE MUST FIND HIM," and Laris said, "... your first act of penance, Illidan Stormrage, is to REMOVE MY BRA!"


It was one of my finer moments. XD I highly recommend the WC3 games even if you suck at RTS like I do, just godmode through it for the plot and Maiev's innuendo laden voice acting.

THAT WAS SO AWESOME! Night Elves SUCK! :D

Nice.

NO Night Elves rule la la la I can't hear you :(

(that was hilarious, tho')

And let's not forget Arthas in the background, saying LOL fags <3

Tyrande: "We need help, gotta wake the druids up. Oh hey, Illidan! I'm sure 10,000 years of confinement has only rehabilitated him."
Illidan: "GROWLowlorarrrr"
Tyrande: "...although I could be wrong."
Illidan: "OOGHRARGHghhh!" *runs off*


This killed me.lol

I really, really, really want Arthas, when he shows up some time in the future, at LEAST in Beta Test, to say something like, "lol newb learn to play" when he kills you. You know, like the postman says you've been MALOWNED.

Because Arthas? Really is the ultimate raider.

Arthas: LFG STRATH
Uther: WTF Arthas Dishonorable kills!
Arthas: STFU
Uther: Reporting you
Arthas: LFM Need mage
Jaina: H8 PvP :(
Arthas: FINE I WILL SOLO